Movies that scarred me for life is all about the movies that keep you up at night.  The horrors you just can’t seem to get out of your head.  But beyond the monsters, ghosts, slashers and aliens, there are also the cringe worthy films you wish you never saw.  Movies that made you wish you had the lost two hours of your life back.  There are tons of ways a movie can scar you for life.  This series will look at 12 of my personal favorites.

Event Horizon

I was terrified after viewing Event Horizon for the first time. I think it’s because in a way, deep down, I believe that something as evil as hell or as good as heaven could exist.  So when I think about where that ship went and what those crew members went through it makes me cringe.

It gets me thinking about the big picture.  About what’s possible.  It can be pretty scary when you think about the massive size of our universe and how, in theory, anything is possible.

Some may say I’m taking a good old fashioned horror film a bit too seriously but aren’t movies supposed to make you think?  Even horror movies set in space can carry emotional weight if you relate to it. (I feel like making a gravity joke at this point is fitting…  But I shall resist the pun.)

At the end of the day, we are all pretty tiny in the grand scheme of things and most of the time, I think about the wonderful and amazing possibilities that are out there.

It’s too bad Event Horizon exists to remind me that there could be evil as well.  When you think about what people experienced aboard that ship it makes one scene in particular absolutely horrifying.  I’m not going to discuss the scene in detail here because it happens to be the All Time Best: Scary Movie Scene.

It’s kept me up at night and creeps me out to this day.  I bought the film for $5.99 a few years ago and haven’t watched it yet.  I’m waiting for someone to watch it with me so I’m not alone.

Think I’m kidding?  I’m not.

But that’s the fun of horror movies!  That’s why they kick ass!

Movies that scarred me for life is all about the movies that keep you up at night.  The horrors you just can’t seem to get out of your head.  But beyond the monsters, ghosts, slashers and aliens, there are also the cringe worthy films you wish you never saw.  Movies that made you wish you had the lost two hours of your life back.  There are tons of ways a movie can scar you for life.  This series will look at 12 of my personal favorites.

Ernest Scared Stupid

Take a moment and look at that huge bumpy double-nosed head with horribly tiny eyes…

That thing may be frightened of milk but dammit, that Troll scared the crap out of me when I was little.  I know it’s an Ernest movie but the trolls in the film were too much! Especially the leader and his vicious quest for revenge.  Hopefully, I’m not the only one who was terrified.

I haven’t seen the film in years as my VHS copy is long gone but I remember every detail about that ugly jerks face.  For a kids movie, he’s pretty ruthless and mean.  Now, thanks to IMDB, I know the stupid creature’s name.

Trantor The Troll!

Honestly, for the longest time, I thought the troll’s name was actually STUPID.  Ernest scared a troll named Stupid?  Perhaps I wasn’t the brightest young lad.

Some people may laugh at how I was afraid of a Troll who was ultimately no match for… Ernest.

I disagree but everyone is entitled to their opinion.  I constantly rewound the final showdown with wide eyes.  Then I would have nightmares of that stupid Ogre and all his warts coming through my window.

It’s a true story.  I had dreams that he would superman through my bedroom window.  Shattered glass flew everywhere and he would stand above me and say:

“Not even MILK can stop me now!”

That voice…  That horrible ‘I turn kids into wooden dolls’ voice!

Let me tell you, Ernest was never there to save me in those dreams.  He wasn’t around to say:

“How ’bout a bumper sandwich booger lips!”

To make matters worse, once he gets really mad he turns into Super-Troll with tentacles and spikes coming out of his head.

…  I’ve never told anyone that this film scarred me for life.  Stupid Trantor!

PS: I miss Jim Varney’s Ernest.  Ewwwww-www-www.  Don’t tell me you’ve never done his trademark ‘ewww’ lip sway.

Movies that scarred me for life is all about the movies that keep you up at night.  The horrors you just can’t seem to get out of your head.  But beyond the monsters, ghosts, slashers and aliens, there are also the cringe worthy films you wish you never saw.  Movies that made you wish you had the lost two hours of your life back.  There are tons of ways a movie can scar you for life.  This series will look at 12 of my personal favorites.

Arachnophobia

I.  Hate.  Spiders.

I always have.  I wouldn’t go as far as declaring myself Arachnophobic but I’m close.

Whenever I see one of those stupid eight legged demons from hell I completely freeze. I can’t move and I’m known to shriek in a girlish way…  I pretty much have to admit to that because there have been witnesses.

The way they move scares the hell out of me and I’ve lost sleep thinking about those little jerks crawling in my mouth while I’m sleeping.

It could happen!

As far back as I can remember I’ve been frightened of spiders but Arachnophobia basically eradicated any shot I had of getting over it.

I’ve only seen the movie once when I was much younger and surrounded by friends who laughed at me the entire time.

I wanted to go home.

To this day, I check the shower curtain and the ceiling every time I take a shower.  I never, NEVER forget to check.

If you’ve seen the film then you’ll understand why I don’t even want to explain why I do that.  I’ve had nightmares about every single scene that involves one of those crawling ass faces…

There was a time when I couldn’t even go to bed without scanning all of my covers thoroughly.

A few years ago, I bought the movie on DVD.  It seems strange to purchase a movie that changed my sleeping habits forever but I intend to cure myself one day.

When that day comes, I’ll give the film another shot.   John Goodman was hilarious as the exterminator.

Someday I’ll get the guts to revisit this horrible, horrible movie but it’s unlikely as long as I continue to run away from those damn insects!

Before I begin the newest series on The Athletic Nerd, I thought I’d share the tale that inspired the whole thing.

I can sum it up with one horrific and terrifying word…

Polkaroo.

Many people around my age probably consider this Clown/Lizard man sized puppet a cherished part of their past.

I loved Polka Dot door too!

At first…

One night, I had a nightmare and Polkaroo was front and center.  In my dream, I was playing alone in my room when I heard a series of screams.  I woke up and couldn’t find my family anywhere so I ran towards my basement but stopped at the top of the stairs when the screams suddenly stopped.  That’s when I saw Polkaroo and the bottom of the stairs…  Holding a knife.

Are you kidding me!

He was even yelling Polka-rooooooooo!?

I woke up immediately and rushed into my parents room.  A part of me wishes I could remember their reactions.  I was probably still half a sleep but I bet they laughed their asses off.

What I sissy…

Scared half to death by the Polkaroo…

Am I alone here?  Was anyone else scared of that… Thing?

Still, I think it’s funny if he got away just as the cops arrived so I could yell:

“You just missed him!”

This terrible event from my past inspired the latest series on this blog:

Movies That Scarred Me For Life.

A 12 part series that examines the movies that had a similar impact on me.

Stay tuned and don’t forget to check out Movies That Changed Everything too.

Last summer featured a 12 part series called Movies That Changed Everything about the movies that inspire the aspiring filmmaker.

Click here to read the complete series.

Today, I’m happy to announce a new series here at The Athletic Nerd.

Movies That Scarred Me For Life!

This new series will look at the movies that have stuck with me over the years for all the wrong (or right) reasons.

• Horror films
• Monsters
• Childhood Haunts
• Spiders
• Cartoons (Cartoons?)
• Demons
• Ghosts
• And Much Much More

Stay tuned for the first episode which arrives next week!

These films grabbed a hold of my imagination and basically ruined my life for various reasons that will definitely surprise you.

Throughout the series, I’d love to hear your picks too!

Comment, Tweet, E-mail and Share.

Which movies scarred you?