BROTHERS And Annoying Movie Lineups

December 7, 2009 at 3:55 am

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The Athletic Nerd Movie Reviews

Brothers.

10:10pm start time.

Opening weekend.

Saturday Night.

The movie is about to begin.  It’s hard to believe I thought we may not even get tickets a mere minutes ago.

Earlier that night…

I wasn’t sure if the theater would be packed as it was opening weekend for the film so we left 30 minutes early.  I was pretty excited to see Brothers.  It seemed like a really intense movie.

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We arrived at the theater and immediately jumped into the express line to buy our tickets.  Only a few people were in front of us so I relaxed.  It didn’t last long as more people piled in after us and those in front were clueless Express-Liners.  Allow me to explain.

First up, The Conversation Guys.

Have you ever encountered these people before?  These 4 guys group around the same machine and proceed to talk and laugh it up while people are waiting.  Who does that?  While they are having a merry time, I’m worried about the movie selling out. While that is going on, people keep entering and blasting horribly cold wind gusts into the entrance where we were all standing.

The Conversation Guys were absolutely oblivious.  Even a kind woman behind us was visibly upset.  Did I mention they bought their tickets separately?  There is express line etiquette on busy nights isn’t there?  One person should step up and pay!  The others can hit an ATM and pay him back.  They are clearly good friends right? Move it along Conversation Guys!

Meanwhile, the other machine was being occupied by a man who had nothing but problems every step of the way.  The Multi-Swipe. This man must have swiped his card at least a million times.  I know what you’re thinking…  Really?  A million?  Yes…  A million swipes.

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Finally, we moved forward about 6 inches.  I’m growing increasingly anxious but the regular line up is even worse so we have no choice but to wait.  Two girls now stood between us and our tickets. These two went to separate machines and couldn’t decide what movie they wanted to see. Solution?  Why not use the same machine and decide together?  Actually, that doesn’t work because then you’re no better than the conversation guys.  There’s no escaping that one.

We eventually get our turn after standing in line for a while and decide to enter the theater and get seats before the final washroom break and snack planning.  I’m anticipating a fairly packed theater after waiting in line for so long…

Now, I’m not saying the theater was empty but lets just say I didn’t have any cause for concern.

Brothers

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It wasn’t what I expected at all.  The way they marketed the film I thought it was going to be a love triangle story and that’s it.  While there are a few scenes here and there, most of the movie is about coping with war and it’s a shocking tale to say the least.  The story has two very different threads.  On one side of the world, you have Tobey Maguire’s character fighting for his life in Afganistan.  What he goes through is absolutely terrifying.  Back home, his family deals with grief believing he is dead.  This is a sad story about a devastated family trying to support each other and just when they begin to move on, Tobey returns home a different man.

Where the filmmakers surprised me was how they dealt with war, what it can do to someones mind and the impact it has on family members.  It’s a haunting story and definitely intense. When the shattered Maguire returns home the pain he feels is unbearable and it affects everyone around him.  Without spoiling anything, it has a very clear message and a very fitting ending which I loved.  Tobey is awesome in this movie. Actually, the entire cast was incredible especially the two little girls.  I’m a pretty big fan of Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman and they don’t disappoint either.

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I thought about Brothers a lot after we left the theater and after careful consideration, it’s officially one of my favorite movies of 2009.  Great movie.  Well worth dealing with clueless Express-Liners.

Concerning clueless Express-Liners

Here are a few suggestions to take into consideration next time you head out to your local theaters:

Note: These only really apply when there are people waiting behind you.

  1. People are waiting.
  2. Lost your Scene card?  You’re probably right to look through your wallet or purse for 27 minutes.
  3. The Conversation Guys were idiots.  It’s so easy to buy tickets (even one at a time) and enjoy a splendid conversation in the lobby later on.  Avoid becoming one of them.
  4. Card isn’t working?  Sometimes swiping it a million times can work but a quick cancel would be faster right?  Nah continue swiping it’ll work eventually.
  5. People are still waiting.
  6. Want to buy your snacks at the same time?  Is it really a tough decision to pick a size of popcorn?  Nah you may as well have a discussion about Nachos vs Glossettes. (See #3)
  7. Decide what you are going to see in line or at home.  It doesn’t matter to me as long as you aren’t stumped standing in front of the machine with a blank expression.  Pick a movie already.
  8. This is the most important point.  If you are guilty of any of the above you have no right to be annoyed at other people who hold you up.  So really, I should probably keep my mouth shut.

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