Movies that scarred me for life is all about the movies that keep you up at night.  The horrors you just can’t seem to get out of your head.  But beyond the monsters, ghosts, slashers and aliens, there are also the cringe worthy films you wish you never saw.  Movies that made you wish you had the lost two hours of your life back.  There are tons of ways a movie can scar you for life.  This series will look at 12 of my personal favorites.

Ernest Scared Stupid

Take a moment and look at that huge bumpy double-nosed head with horribly tiny eyes…

That thing may be frightened of milk but dammit, that Troll scared the crap out of me when I was little.  I know it’s an Ernest movie but the trolls in the film were too much! Especially the leader and his vicious quest for revenge.  Hopefully, I’m not the only one who was terrified.

I haven’t seen the film in years as my VHS copy is long gone but I remember every detail about that ugly jerks face.  For a kids movie, he’s pretty ruthless and mean.  Now, thanks to IMDB, I know the stupid creature’s name.

Trantor The Troll!

Honestly, for the longest time, I thought the troll’s name was actually STUPID.  Ernest scared a troll named Stupid?  Perhaps I wasn’t the brightest young lad.

Some people may laugh at how I was afraid of a Troll who was ultimately no match for… Ernest.

I disagree but everyone is entitled to their opinion.  I constantly rewound the final showdown with wide eyes.  Then I would have nightmares of that stupid Ogre and all his warts coming through my window.

It’s a true story.  I had dreams that he would superman through my bedroom window.  Shattered glass flew everywhere and he would stand above me and say:

“Not even MILK can stop me now!”

That voice…  That horrible ‘I turn kids into wooden dolls’ voice!

Let me tell you, Ernest was never there to save me in those dreams.  He wasn’t around to say:

“How ’bout a bumper sandwich booger lips!”

To make matters worse, once he gets really mad he turns into Super-Troll with tentacles and spikes coming out of his head.

…  I’ve never told anyone that this film scarred me for life.  Stupid Trantor!

PS: I miss Jim Varney’s Ernest.  Ewwwww-www-www.  Don’t tell me you’ve never done his trademark ‘ewww’ lip sway.