The Bottom 3: 2009′s Worst Movies

December 16, 2009 at 3:17 am

2009's Worst MoviesWhat I love about movies is how everyone has an opinion.  You don’t have to be an expert to love or hate certain movies.  As a filmmaker, I’ve made it a point to be aware of this.  I’ll never make a movie that everyone will like.  I focus on writing movies that I like and making the best movies I can.  You have to be mindful of the audience you’re after though.  The biggest flops are the films that cater to a specific audience who are ultimately disappointed.

I would never push Playing Through towards a hardcore action fan.  I know it’s best suited for fans of drama with a small interest in golf.  My point is, consumers tend to hate movies that promise something and fail to deliver.  Which brings me to 2009’s Bottom 3:

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers 2 Devastator

What could have been...

A perfect example of empty promises.  I was obsessed with the first Transformers.  I find giant fighting robots entertaining. What I loved about the first film besides the battles was how small the story was given the size of the Transformers mythology.  The effects made the movie entertaining but following Sam as he discovers the world of Transformers is what made that movie memorable.  The sequel promised more of the same.  However, it delivered a story that was just too big for it’s own good.  I was disappointed.

Too many robots! Why not get rid of the offensive twins and give Ironhide and Wratchet something more to do?  Who was that ancient robot besides convenient exposition?  What’s the point of The Fallen?  He sucked as the ‘main’ villain.  He showed up late and died too quickly.

I think it would have been truly bad ass to have all the autobots defending that pyramid from Devastator.  Think of how awesome that sequence might have been.  In the end, the story wasn’t the greatest and there were so many characters I didn’t care about.

Positive: The forest battle.
Negative: Too many robots.  Not enough story.

Dragonball: Evolution

Don't be fooled... This part wasn't exciting at all.

Don't be fooled... This part wasn't exciting at all.

Let me explain.  I went into Blockbuster video a few weeks ago and scanned their previously viewed section.  Buy 2 get 1 free.  I had 5 DVD’s in my hand and needed a 6th.  Dragonball was my dark horse pick.  Who knows right?  So many people hated that movie but there must have been a reason why they made it?  Maybe I’m the audience they were looking for…

I was wrong. I was better off without the free movie.

It’s probably one of the worst movies of all time.  I didn’t like Transformers 2 but it still had it’s moments.  You could still rent that movie and sit through it relatively pain free.  This is not the case with Dragonball: Evolution.  I wasn’t a giant fan of the cartoon but I was expecting a movie with epic fights in huge open fields.  The old cartoon had fights that would last 5 or 6 episodes.  In the movie, Goku fights highschool bullies that are pretty much black belts for no good reason.  This is an example of not knowing the audience.  I think they were trying to make the film appeal to everyone and instead it appealed to no one and alienated the core fans.

So much is wrong with this movie. No good fights.  No twists.  No laughs.  No danger.  No suspense.  Who cares?

Positive: When he turns into the monkey.  That was a decent twist I suppose.  I’m sure hardcore fans saw it coming though.  Actually they probably already left the theater or burned the disc.
Negative: Discs don’t burn do they?

X-Men origins: Wolverine

Looks cool yet isn't.

Looks cool yet isn't.

One of my favorite movies of 2009 earned it’s place in my heart because of how much fun I had in the theater.  (Check back soon for more on my favorites of the year.)  Wolverine is not that movie.  I actually laughed in disbelief at certain points.  They couldn’t possibly sell this as a Wolverine movie right?  I feel like someone wrote a fantastic movie and we were destined for an awesome flick.  Then the studio heads got a hold of it and said:

“Add 9 more mutants”

“Won’t that complicat—“

“Just do it!”

The writers went back to work and jammed in a whole bunch of useless characters and plot points without explaining anything.

Maybe they thought it strengthened the story.  Or maybe they wrote a story full of holes and needed a quick fix.  I think they just wanted to sell toys.  Take Gambit for example.  Remove him from the movie and you lose nothing.  He’s an awesome character and they wasted a golden opportunity.  This whole movie is one big wasted opportunity.

Oh and also, don’t get me started on Wolverine’s memory loss.  Are you kidding me?  That whole scene belongs on the blooper reel not the final act.  I was so mad after I saw this movie.

I really wanted to love it.  I’m definitely part of their target demographic right?  I honestly thought Dragonball would have taken the top spot this year until I started thinking about Wolverine again.  It’s the worst movie I saw in 2009.

Positive: Deadpool was pretty cool.
Negative: No he wasn’t.

Honourable Mention: Drag Me To Hell…  I was so excited to see this movie.  Maybe something is wrong with me but I didn’t like it at all.