THE JOURNEY TO THE NUMBER ONE DUMB & DUMBER QUOTE CONCLUDES!
100 Quotes. That’s a lot of hilarious lines.
In part 1 of this series, I ranked #100 all the way to #31. Now, it’s all about the best of the best. The Top 30!
30-Sea Bass’ Friend: Kick his ass, Sea Bass!
Mary: So you’ll pick me up tonight at seven forty-five?
29-Harry: Well I got a few things to take care of. How about we make it quarter to eight?
28-Lloyd: What if he shot you in the face?
27-Harry: What if he shot me in the face?
Harry: One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu.
Mary: Really? That’s weird.
26-Harry: Yeah, we called it a bullshit.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I’d say more like one out of a million.
25-Lloyd: So you’re telling me there’s a chance… YEAH!
24-Lloyd: I’m going to hang by the bar… Put out the vibe.
Airport Clerk: Sir, you can’t go in there!
23-Lloyd: It’s ok, I’m a limo driver!
22-Lloyd: I can’t stop going once I’ve started. It stings!
21-Anxious Man: Ohhh you turned your back on me. Hooohhoooo he got me mad I almost like it!
Harry: It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey.
Harry: He’s dead.
Lloyd: Oh, man, I’m sorry. What happened?
20-Harry: His head fell off.
Lloyd: His head fell off?
19-Harry: Yeah. He was pretty old.
Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
18-Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of shit, man.
17-Harry: Nice set of hooters you got there!
Mary: I beg your pardon?
Harry: The owls! They’re beautiful!
Harry: How was your day?
16-Lloyd: Not bad. Fell off the jet way again.
14-Lloyd: G’day mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!
13-Lloyd: Oh yeah. Tractor beam. Sucked me right in.
Nicholas Andre: What is this? What is this? Where’s all the money?
12-Lloyd: That’s as good as money, sir. Those are I.O.U.’s. Go ahead and add it up, every cents accounted for. Look, see this? That’s a car. 275 thou. Might wanna hang onto that one.
11-Lloyd: I can’t stop going once I’ve started, it stings!
THE 10 BEST DUMB & DUMBER QUOTES ARE…
Here we go. After counting down 90 quotes we have now arrived at the Top 10. The funniest and most quotable lines in the movie. (In my opinion of course)
10-Lloyd: WE LANDED ON THE MOON!
9-Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn’t even see it coming.
Lloyd: Maybe we should call it quits right now.
Harry: You just tell me where to sign, bud.
8-Lloyd: Right on my ass after you kiss it!
Harry: You kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips, right here!
HARRY: What did you sell him Lloyd?
Harry: What kinda stuff?
Lloyd: I don’t know, a few baseball cards, a sack of marbles… Petey.
7-Harry: You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Lloyd! Petey didn’t even have a head!
Lloyd: Harry, I took care of it…
Harry: Lloyd, I can’t feel my fingers, they’re numb!
6-Lloyd: Oh well here, take this extra pair of gloves, my hands are starting to get a little sweaty.
Harry: Extra gloves? You’ve had extra gloves this whole time?
Lloyd: Uh yea, we are in the Rockies. Jeez!
5-Lloyd: Harry… Your hands are freezing!
4-Lloyd: We got no food, we got no jobs… our PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!
Harry: Okay just calm down.
3-Lloyd: You’re it.
Harry: You’re it.
Lloyd: You’re it, quitsies!
Harry: Anti-quitsies, you’re it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Lloyd: You can’t do that!
Harry: Can too!
Lloyd: Cannot, stamp it!
Harry: Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
Lloyd: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
Harry: No, you can’t do that… you can’t triple stamp a double stamp, you can’t triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
Lloyd: LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Harry: LLOYD! LLOYD! LLOYD!
Harry: What’s her last name? I’ll look it up.
Lloyd: You know, I don’t really recall. Starts with an S! Let’s see. Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?
Harry: Maybe it’s on the briefcase.
2-Lloyd: Oh, yeah! It’s right here. Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though.
Lloyd: Traded the van for it straight up. I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.
1-Harry: Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!