July 12, 2012
The Athletic half of my blog’s name comes from my career in television. I’m obsessed with sports and equally passionate about editing live television shows. I’m also a big fan of playing basketball and if it wasn’t for a knee injury, I would have been on a court once a week over the last year. On the flip side, I love to write screenplays and surround myself with movies on a daily basis. I’m a proud film nerd.
Stereotypes suggest that I shouldn’t be a crier because I’m a sports guy. Screw it, I wrote a scene this morning and cried my brains out. There I said it! I don’t feel bad.
This morning I tackled one of the final scenes in my new screenplay and it got to me. It’s an extremely emotional conversation between two people that love each other very much. Most of the movie builds up to this one conversation and the second I finished the last line of dialogue, my emotions overflowed.
I think a lot of it had to do with the journey I’ve been on personally for the last few years. Screenwriting is my therapy. It’s my way keep stress at bay.
XTRA | Screenwriting vs Anxiety
I’m happy when I’m writing. I loved developing and writing this story for the last couple months. I’ve had so much fun with the characters I’ve created and I’m almost done! I’ll probably finish the last scene later today.
All of this combined inspired the tears that fell today. I’m happy I did. If I didn’t care, how could I possibly expect a reader to care? You have to be invested in your story. I’ve started so many concepts over the years and never followed through. It’s been a long time since I felt this strongly about my writing.
I’ve written tons about the guilt I feel when I don’t write. Yet for the last few years, I haven’t written that much. I’m beginning to understand why and I’ve realized my writing will never be the same. I’m a better writer because I’ve been pushing myself. If anything, it’s a little disheartening that I waited so long to shut up, sit down and write screenplays. Thankfully, that’s a mistake I don’t have to live with anymore and I feel like my little cry proved it.
I cried today because I love to write screenplays. It was a perfect storm of sadness and pride. An emotional mix of passion and a sense of accomplishment.
And I’m not even done yet!
Screenwriters, have you ever written yourself to tears?
That was a great day.
As a side update, I’m happy to report my knee is fully healed now (I hope) and I’ll be on the court again in a week! So to recap, I’m playing sports again, I love my job and the new screenplay is going well. The lesson? Always push yourself.