July 11, 2012

Nothing worked.  No matter what I tried, I simply couldn’t relax enough to sleep.  So I leaned over and picked up my iPad to write this post.

I’m too excited!  Earlier today, I wrote 22 pages of my feature length screenplay.  I was so close to finishing but I had run out of time.  It had to wait until tomorrow.  I went to bed and watched a documentary on The New York Times thinking it would be interesting but not enough to keep me awake.  It backfired as I started thinking about the possibilities of this blog when it returns.

It didn’t matter what I tried.  I was wide awake.  So I grabbed my iPad and started writing this:

More than anything, I just can’t wait to type Fade Out tomorrow.  It means more to me than any project I’ve ever worked on.  Just over a month ago, I decided to test myself and see if I could truly commit to screenwriting and screenwriting alone.  Tomorrow proves that I can and that’s a big deal.  I put so much pressure on myself over the last few years and never stopped to fully appreciate how much I love to write movies.  Tomorrow is going to be so much fun.

I’ve already set an alarm.  7 AM.  That’s 8 hours from now.  8 solid hours would be perfect but it’s like Christmas Eve! Every time I close my eyes I see white pages full of action and dialogue.  I see the final page.  I see FADE OUT.

Tomorrow is the big day.  I’m going to be able to tell people I finished my new screenplay.  I’m going to be able to read it start to finish.  I get to start the rewriting process.  I get to fine tune my story.  I get to write.

I couldn’t be more pumped.  Part of me is thinking I should just get out of bed and finish it now.  I could work on it all night and not have to deal with this.  I don’t have to toss and turn wondering how it will all come together.  I can get up right now!  But I shouldn’t…

…  The point of my Summer of Screenwriting is to find a balance between my career, my personal life and my writing.  I have other missions to accomplish besides my script tomorrow so I need to sleep.  I just need to figure out a way to calm myself down, forget how important tomorrow is and relax.

So I’ll begin by saving this post, shutting down my iPad and closing my eyes.

Tomorrow, I finish my screenplay.

It took a while to finally relax and close my eyes that night.  I was so excited to write the final moments of my movie.  All I could think about was typing Fade Out and how much it meant to me.

That was over 3 months ago and I find myself writing something new and experiencing the same feelings all over again.  I’m no where close to finishing but I desperately want to get to end and feel proud all over again.  Until then, I get to work on my screenplay tomorrow.